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Lindsay Pan part 2 - Meet the Darling Family
Narrator: All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Darling family. And Lindsay chose this particular house, because there were animals here who believed in her. There was Mr. Darling. (In the bathroom of the corner house, there was a gray mouse, wearing a red sweater and a brown newsboy cap. He was known as Bernard.) *Bernard/Mary Darling: (humming) Bianca, dear, do hurry! We mustn't be late for the party, you know. *Narrator: Mr. Darling believed that Lindsay was the spirit of youth. But Mrs. Darling... (In the parents' bedroom, there was a white mouse, wearing only a white underdress. She was known as Miss Bianca. At the moment, she was searching through her drawers looking for her perfume.) *Miss Bianca/George Darling: Bernard, unless I find my perfume, we don't go to the party. And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in the Rescue Aid Society again. And if I can never show- (groans) *Narrator: Well, Mrs. Darling was a practical mouse. The girls, however, Elizabeth Brisby and Olivia Flaversham, believed Lindsay was a real person, and made her the heroine of all their nursery games. (In the window of the nursery, we see two shadows fighting the other with wooden toy swords. One has one in its left hand and a hanger in its right hand while the other has another in its right hand.) (One of the shadows belongs to a 14-year-old mouse with light brown fur and blue eyes, wearing a white flowered nightgown and bloomers. She is known as Elizabeth Brisby, and she was the one holding the toy sword in her left hand and the hanger in her right.) (The other shadow belongs to a 5-year-old mouse with tan fur, a small white bucktooth, curvy pink ears, bright blue eyes, a round head, and little hands and feet, wearing white panties and baby blue footy pajamas over them. She also wears a red hair-bow behind her left ear. She is known as Olivia, and she was the one with the toy sword in her right hand.) *Mrs. Elizabeth Brisby/John Darling: Blast you, Lindsay! *Olivia Flaversham/Michael Darling: Take that! Give up, Mane-iac? Give up? *Mrs. Brisby/John: Never! (pulling open a drawer that is under Olivia's pajama-clad feet) I'll teach you to cut off me hand! (Just about then, a 16-year-old human man, named John Smith, walks in. He has peach skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, wearing a light blue long-sleeved pajama top, matching night pants, and blue slippers. He is also carrying a jug.) *John Smith/Wendy Darling: (chuckling) Oh no, Elizabeth. It was the left hand. *Mrs. Brisby/John: Oh yes. Thank you, John. *Narrator: John Smith, the eldest and the only human, not only believed, he was the supreme authority on Lindsay and all her marvelous adventures. *John Smith/Wendy: Oh, Fillisecond, must we always take that nasty tonic? (A pink pony with a pinker mane and a white dress covered in squiggly arrows walked in, carrying a bottle of tonic and three spoons.) *Narrator: Fillisecond the nursemaid, being a pony, kept her opinions to herself and viewed the whole affair with a certain tolerance. *Olivia/Michael: Take that! *Mrs. Brisby/John: Insolent girl! I'll slash you to ribbons! *Olivia/Michael: And I'll cut you to pieces! Aha! *Mrs. Brisby/John: Ouch! Careful, Olivia! You almost poked my eyes out! *Olivia/Michael: I'm sorry, Elizabeth. *Mrs. Brisby/John: Ah! You'll never leave this ship alive! *Olivia/Michael: Oh yes, I will! Take that! *Mrs. Brisby/John: Scuttle me bones, girl! I'll slit your gizzard! *Olivia/Michael: Oh no, you won't! Back, back, back, you villain! *Mrs. Brisby/John: Insolent creep! *Olivia/Michael: Wicked hairy horse! *Mrs. Brisby/John: Aha! I gotcha! *Olivia/Michael: You didn't, either. You never touched me. Take that! And that! And that! (Pretending she was dead, Mrs. Brisby placed her paw over her chest, groaned a fake death groan, and fell to the floor.) *Miss Bianca/George: (walking in) Girls, girls, less noise, please. *Mrs. Brisby/John: Oh, hello, mother. *Olivia/Michael: You old bilge rat! *Miss Bianca/George: Wha, wha, what? Now see here, Olivia! *Mrs. Brisby/John: Oh, not you, mother. You see, she's Lindsay. *Olivia/Michael: And Elizabeth's the Mane-iac. *Miss Bianca/George: Yes, yes, of course. Er...have you seen my per... Oh, Fillisecond, for goodness' sake! Where is that perfume? *Mrs. Brisby/John: Perfume, mother? *Miss Bianca/George: Yes, in the purple bottle. *Mrs. Brisby/John: Olivia, the buried treasure. Where is it? *Olivia/Michael: I don't know. *Mrs. Brisby/John: The map, then. Where's the treasure map? *Olivia/Michael: It got lost. *Miss Bianca/George: Good heavens! My lilac dress! *Olivia/Michael: Hooray! You found it! You found it! *Miss Bianca/George: Yes, so I have. And hereafter,...don't paw me, Olivia. This is my last clean...(The skirt front pulls up to her face, showing a treasure map on it)...no! No! (Bernard walked in the nursery.) *Bernard/Mary: Miss Bianca dear, we really must hurry or we'll be late. *Miss Bianca/George: Bernard, look! *Bernard/Mary: Miss Bianca! *Olivia/Michael: It's only chalk, mother. *Bernard/Mary: Why, Olivia... *Mrs. Brisby/John: It's not her fault, it's in the story. And John said... *Miss Bianca/George: John? Story? I might have known. John?! JOHN! *John Smith/Wendy: Yes, mother? *Miss Bianca/George: Would you kindly explain... *John Smith/Wendy: Oh, father! You look simply handsome! *Bernard/Mary: Thank you, dear. *Miss Bianca/George: John... *Bernard/Mary: Just my old sweater made over, but it did turn out all right, and I... *Miss Bianca/George: Bernard, if you don't mind! I'd... *John Smith/Wendy: Why, mother! What have you done to your dress? *Miss Bianca/George: What have I? (groans) *Bernard/Mary: Now, Bianca, really! It comes right off. *Miss Bianca/George: That's no excuse! John! Haven't I warned you, stuffing the girls' heads with a lot of silly stories! *John Smith/Wendy: Oh, but they aren't. *Miss Bianca/George: I say they are! Hairy Mary, Lindsilly... *John Smith/Wendy: Linds''ay'', mother. *Miss Bianca/George: Lindsay, long-haired mares, supervillains...poppycock! (John Smith, Mrs. Brisby and Olivia began protesting at once.) *Miss Bianca/George: ABSOLUTE POPPYCOCK! And let me tell you, this ridiculous... *Bernard/Mary: (about to put on her purple scarf and matching hat) Now, Bianca. *Miss Bianca/George: Now, Bianca! Now, Bianca! (putting on the hat and scarf herself, only to make a furious tangle with the scarf) WELL, "NOW, BIANCA" WILL HAVE HER SAY! *Bernard/Mary: (fixing the scarf neatly) Please, dear. *Miss Bianca/George: Bernard, the child's growing up! It's high time he had a room of his own! *John Smith/Wendy: Mother! *Bernard/Mary: Bianca! *Mrs. Brisby/John: What?! *Olivia/Michael: No! (The blocks fell out of Fillisecond's mouth as she gasped in shock.) *Miss Bianca/George: I mean it! Young man, this is your last night in the nursery! And that's my last word on the matter. (She turned to leave, but she tripped over Fillisecond. The pony tried to run, but she were unaware that she was being knocked into the blocks by Miss Bianca again. Fillisecond tripped on a toy wagon and passed it to Miss Bianca, who was now standing on the wagon.) *Miss Bianca/George: No! (Fillisecond was sent rolling across the nursery, and knocked back as Miss Bianca was sent flying as the handle of the toy wagon made a rip in the rug.) *Miss Bianca/George: NO! (And with a large crash, she crashed into a drawer, and Fillisecond bumped into a wall. Some toys fell from the drawer and onto her head.) *John Smith/Wendy, Mrs. Brisby/John, Olivia/Michael, and Bernard/Mary: Oh! (Miss Bianca is happy thinking it's her they feel sorry for her, but, instead, they run over to Fillisecond.) *John Smith/Wendy, Mrs. Brisby/John, Olivia/Michael, and Bernard/Mary: Poor Fillisecond! *Miss Bianca/George: POOR FILLISECOND?! (standing up and pointing to the half-open door) This is the last straw! Out! OUT, I SAY! *Olivia/Michael: No, mother, no! *Miss Bianca/George: Yes! (dragging Fillisecond across the nursery with Olivia still clinging to her) THERE'LL BE NO MORE PONIES AS NURSEMAIDS IN THIS HOUSE! (Bernard just picks up Olivia.) (Olivia begins to cry.) *Olivia/Michael: Goodbye, Fillisecond. (Fillisecond waves back) *Miss Bianca/George: (dragging Fillisecond outside) Poor Fillisecond. Oh yes, poor Fillisecond! But poor mother? Oh no! Blasted, where is that rope? (She turned to see Fillisecond with the rope in her mouth) Oh, thank you. (As she was tying the rope on her collar, she noticed a sad look on Fillisecond's faces) Dash it all Filly, don't look at me like that, it's not personal it's just that, well, you're not really a nurse at all, you're well, a pony. And the children aren't foals. They're mice. But John's just a human. And sooner or later you three, (stroking her fur) people have to grow up. (She walked away, leaving Fillisecond sad and discouraged.) Category:Peter Pan Parts Category:Transcripts Category:Genderswap Spoofs